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Friday, May 13th, 2005
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11:58 am
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Yup, I'm still alive =) Currently dwelling over at ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) kissedbypoison if you feel like adding me and seeing what's going on in my life, which isn't all that much at all in all honesty. Here's a quick rundown of the past few months:
-Left LZ after being screwed over for the last time.
-Got a job at Chili's as a waitress.
-Finished my freshmen year of college (except for one final I still need to take).
-Got a tattoo.
-Quit Chili's to work at the Radisson full-time over the summer and part-time when school starts back up.
-Decided to commute to school next year.
-Adopted three rats, Emma, Bella, and Louie.
-I'm single, in a way.
-FG Summer Part 1 1/2 is beginning.
You can comment on this journal if you want, but you'll probably get a much quicker response if you head over to my current LJ, since I only log into this one once every few months.
current mood:  calm
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| Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
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8:27 am
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Just wanted to remind you all I have a new, private journal at kissedbypoison so go there, leave a comment and I will probably add you. (:
Other than that, life has been incredibly hard lately, and most of you know the reason. I'm moving along though and have been keeping busy with schoolwork, Zelda, and once again working at Lazerzone.
And I need to see people over Thanksgiving break, I miss my Randolphians like crazy.
current mood:  confused
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| Thursday, September 30th, 2004
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7:18 pm - New Journal
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After much deliberation I have created a new journal. It is going to be Friends Only, so please leave a comment there, and I will most likely add you back. Warning, my new journal isn't going to be like this one too much and I will ocassionally post in here little updates, and keep using this for my communities. For everything else check out kissedbypoison
current mood:  creative
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| Monday, September 27th, 2004
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6:52 pm
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Ugh. I hate this. I do. I try to find things I enjoy here, and I have found a few...people in my English class, English class itself, watching CSI, having someone to talk to in Astronomy and American Politics, and the radio station. Besides those I am suffering. I've gotten over the crying bit, except when Joe went home on Sunday after staying over Saturday night. I am now more in a state of acceptance. Not happiness, but in a state of knowing that I can't change anything so I have to just accept my current situation. And please, no comments that it'll get better and so forth, I'm hoping it will but right now I'm not happy...
I miss Zelda. I miss being able to take her out for walks and attempt to teach her to sit and have her be housebroken. I miss the way that she lays her ears flat against her head when she's running for better aerodynamics. I hate feeling this sense that I am missing out on a crucial stage of her life, even though I know that Joe is doing a wonderful job with her, and not getting upset over her "accidents" in the house. Its hurting me to not see her.
Well, C.S.I. is on, so I will stop complaining and watch my show...
current mood:  sad
current music: C.S.I.
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| Saturday, September 25th, 2004
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2:26 pm - Following the trend...
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What attracts people to you?
brought to you by Quizilla
So, I got to go on air for the first time last night! Got to do weather and the promos for WSMU's Ruckus Room with Tony. Can I just say that the whole thing felt so natural. It was wonderful. And now everyone at the studio is pushing for me to have my own show, so maybe soon :D Check out wsmu.org to listen to the station live via the internet.
current mood:  cheerful
current music: WSMU 91.1 FM
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| Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
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9:45 pm
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So I'm still struggling through this adjustment period of college. I'm trying to be more outgoing, but then I stop and realize its just now who I am. I'm more outgoing as I get to know people, so forcing myself to be outgoing is somewhat of a lie. Yeah, I'm getting a bit too deep about things but its true. Everyone keeps trying to give me tips and advice on how to make friends, but all I'm hearing is "Don't be yourself." Guess that it means I'll take the slow route to making friends, and see how that goes.
Took a long break from updating this to have a nice conversation with Jess.
But, I went to the college radio station meeting today and signed up for DJ training class. Now I have something to do on Tuesday nights which is kind of exciting. And maybe I'll meet some people through this.
current mood:  restless
current music: WSMU 91 FM
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| Wednesday, September 8th, 2004
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8:50 pm
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You must be annoyed how I tend to update this thing every night now. Well, I always seem to have a bit of time, and nothing to do, so I search the web a little and always seem to end up here. So here's a few minutes, or so, of my time.
My classes today were awesome. Both of them. My English class only had 10 people, which makes me feel very comfortable and the teacher is about the nicest lady I have ever met. It is supposed to be a class around science writing but we are allowed to write about anything we have a passion for, which is really nice when it comes to writing. Plus there is a kid in my class who is an animal activist, so he might be helping me with my sociology project on Animal Experimentation. Then Astronomy is an almost guaranteed A, with a really nice and fun teacher who doesn't assign homework but lets us do worksheets together. And NO FINAL in the class, makes me super happy.
After class I went and ate lunch, and people watched. Then came back to the room, did a little homework, then took a little nap. Woke up and went to Wal-Mart and got some random stuff I needed. Then I came back, hung with Marrk and went to go get my fish. And now I have Tre, my little multi-colored goldfish (Tre is the lead singer of Phish...fish - phish...ha ha). It already cheers me up a little to have an animal here, and its a conversation starter, oddly enough. So, hopefully Tre stays healthy, he seems quite content on top of my mini-fridge at the moment =)
current mood: content
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| Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
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7:20 pm
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Anybody else feel like you missed the part of starting college where everyone became friends with each other. Because I certainly do. I end up walking to all my classes alone, no suprise since I know no one in any of them, but then I see everyone else with at least 2 or 3 people to walk with, and these are not all upper classmen either. Where was I for this bonding?
I'm trying really hard to meet people though, but I lack the skill of small talk. I can't make little conversations about things, I always end up silent after a few minutes. Not a good way to meet people, trust me. But I am trying, and not refusing to give up...not yet anyway.
Classes aren't all too bad. Already have a 15 minute oral presentation due in a few weeks on animal experimentation, and I had to read about 30 pages, in two seperate books, for my classes on Thursday. I have a feeling Tuesday and Thursdays will not be my good days.
Anyway. If anyone from UMD is reading this, I am hanging out in Chestnut if you ever feel like hanging out. My phone should be up and running in a few hours.
current mood: lonely
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| Sunday, September 5th, 2004
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3:28 pm
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Things are getting a little better at school now. Went on a tour of the campus with a few of my floor mates and our RA. Then hung out and did a bit of shopping with a two girls from 217. It felt really nice to meet new people and have some conversations. Then I came back, and Marrk came over. I haven't seen the boy in years. Then we hung out in his room for awhile and then I came back here and went to visit Jen, met her really nice roommate and friends. Then we went on a mini tour and pointed out the 666 benches (there are three benches in the shape of a six right next to each other), creepy.
It felt good to not be locked up in my room all day long. Very much a bonus. I'm hoping to meet some more people in my classes and maybe get to know my roomie a bit better. And yeah for having a completely normal and chill roommate. No horror stories here.
Well, I'm going to go hang out for a little while until my mom gets back here with some more stuff to cram into this itty bitty room.
Miss everyone. Please feel free to call my cell on the weekends and after 9pm : D
current mood: content
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| Saturday, September 4th, 2004
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2:39 pm
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My first day at Umass Dartmouth. Got here around 745, then waited an hour and a few more minutes to finally unload my stuff. By complete coincidence, my roommate and I arrived at the exact same time. Got all the stuff brought to our room and she has about 4 times the amount of stuff I do. Thinking I'm missing some stuff...but everything is going well. Clothes are all put away and organized, the computer is up and running, and the TV is set, but with no cable because we are lacking a cord. I also need to bring a phone, not aware they were not provided...yes, that is my intelligence for you...
We're having a floor meeting tonight at 630...yay.
Joe is passed out on my bed next to me. Its the cutest thing ever. Dreading the time tonight when he's going to go home.
Miss everyone. Hope college is working out for all the RHSers.
current mood:  tired
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| Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
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7:17 pm - Stole from other's journals...
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eXpressive: 4/10
Practical: 2/10
Physical: 2/10
Giver: 10/10
You are a RSIG--Reserved Sentimental Intellectual Giver. This makes you a People-Pleaser.
Oh, RSIG! You are the most complicated and dynamic of any type. You are brilliant, tender, romantic and a joy to be with. You're the favorite of many of your friends. It's just not a party until you get there. You are bursting with feeling and sentiment and insight but you very rarely express it -- it's not how you want to present yourself to the world. Although you are always studying your non-romantic relationships -- you turn a blind eye to romantic relationships.
You're highly adaptable, and you conform to your circumstances (maybe you're a youngest child?). You would probably be content with almost anyone, and almost anyone would be blissfully happy to have you. But just because you're content doesn't mean you're happy. Don't settle!
You'd rather ignore your problems than rock the boat by creating conflict. Please understand that in the long run ignoring conflict will make you unhappy and your partner exhausted. Try picking a fight just to see how it goes. You'll find out that solving problems is so satisfying for you that it makes conflict worth it.
Your sex life could be fantastic if you could stop worrying about everything so much (did I wash my hands? how do I look? what do I need to do tomorrow?). You need a sweet, expressive lover who makes you feel at ease and never puts pressure on you. If you feel secure with your partner outside the bedroom, it will make all the difference.
You cry at movies. A lot.
Of the 43473 people who have taken this quiz, 6.3 % are this type.
current mood:  scared
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| Saturday, August 28th, 2004
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11:04 am
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I hate that I have to keep getting up before 7am. Today I had to get up at 6am today so I could bring Zelda to the vet. Then got lost on the way, had to stay there for an hour, then had to drive all the way home. Not my idea of a fun Saturday morning into afternoon...
I wanted to write more in here so I'm going to go now, take the puppy out.
current mood:  annoyed
current music: Family Guy
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| Friday, August 27th, 2004
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8:34 am
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So I'm leaving for college in a week. Eek. But, I think I'm prepared as far as supplies, food, and books go. I have about 10 Wal-mart bags in my room filled with pretty much everything I could possibly ever need. Its insane. I also have my computer set up and running, and I'm going to download The Sims on to it so I have something to keep me busy. I don't know my full address, because my mom threw away my housing information, but once I find it I'll post it for all you people.
Things here have been a bit hectic. Joe and I got a puppy, so the past few days have been fully dedicated to her....taking her out for walks, feeding her, grooming her, giving her a bath, taking her to the vet, and all that good stuff. I'll probably be busy all next week with her too, so sorry if I'm not available to go out as much as I'd like. I'll try to get Joe to babysit her and I'll sneak out. Oh yeah, her name is Zelda, she's 4 1/2 months old, and she's a Cairn Terrier.
current mood: tired
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| Thursday, August 19th, 2004
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7:25 pm - Haha =P
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| Wednesday, August 4th, 2004
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1:43 pm
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Found out a girl I work with is going to Umass Dartmouth too, entering freshmen like me. Feels comforting to know someone else who is going. Got all my roomie information and where I'm living. I'm In Chestnut...yay? Called the roomie, she wasn't home, hasn't returned the call, not sure what that means. Guess we'll see.
Been feeling horrible about different stuff lately. Amazes me how I can let other people make me feel lower than dirt for certain stuff I've done. Sorry, didn't know I couldn't make mistakes, I forgot. Just wish I could please people, especially myself.
I think I might go wash my car. Lately I've felt like I have been very unproductive with things around my house. Need to start cleaning the room, introducing the rats, organizing items. Maybe I'll start if I can get motivated.
current mood: crappy
current music: Fresh Prince of Bell Air...TV
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| Thursday, July 29th, 2004
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3:13 pm
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Name four bad habits you have:
1. thinking too much
2. picking nail polish
3. not listening that well (easily distracted)
4. being very critical
Name four things that you wish you had:
1. a puppy (a Boston Terrier to be exact)
2. money
3. a tattoo
4. more money
Name four scents you love:
1. fresh cut grass
2. the ocean
3. Vanilla
4. Strawberries
Name four things you'd never wear:
1. big gold hoop earrings
2. animal fur
3. those little diamond glue ons
4. ?
Name four things you are thinking about right now:
1. tonight
2. organizing a mini-reunion next week
3. Roswell (show)
4. Food
Name four things that you have done today:
1. deposited three checks
2. volunteered
3. got gas
4. laundry
Name the last four things you have bought:
1. gas
2. food
3. more gas
4. more food
Name four people you would like to spend more time with:
1. Flowers
2. Heather
3. Michael
4. Andrew
Name four bands/groups most people don't know you like:
1. Lyle Lovett
2. Vertical Horizon
3. Los Lonely Boys
4. Jimmy Buffett
Name four drinks you regularly drink:
1. Coke
2. Sprite
3. Ice Tea
4. Milk
Name the last four people you have kissed/been kissed by:
1. Joe
2. Mom
3. maybe Brendan
4. ?
Name four random facts about yourself:
1. I like colorful socks
2. though I'd wear flip flops all year if I could
3. I like washing my car
4. I can't watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre
current mood:  bored
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| Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
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6:27 pm
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Whee, updating again. I went dorm shopping today with my mom and sister. Went to Wal-Mart and got a few things like a laundry basket, towels, pen, pencils, notebooks and a planner. Then we went to Home Goods but didn't find anything I needed. I guess it is finally sinking in that in a little over a month I'll be at college, in a dorm, going to classes, and leaving this life behind in a sense. I talked to two people about it and I'm a mix of terrified and excited. In some senses I want to leave and meet new people but in another way I am so scared of changing so many things all at once. No matter how many people I talk to who are at college I still feel like there is no way that I can prepare for this, and that bothers me. I want to be all set, all prepared and I can't be. I'm giving up a certain level of power and that scares me. Ah college, too much stress for me already.
current mood: tired
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| Monday, July 19th, 2004
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8:09 pm - I have a celebrity obsession
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I feel like a teeny bopper girl at the moment. Well, I guess I have for awhile. Have to love the fact that I've had a celebrity crush for over two years now. Rather impressive I think. Anyway, I suggest watching Buffy - "Once More With Feeling" My celebrity crush can sing (and play guitar). Its sad though, he's 41. You'd never guess though, looks early 30s at most. Eh, doesn't matter, just feel like rambling.
I've been stuck inside all day, again, and its driving me insane. I get a little sick when I'm stuck at home, I'm not sure if its because I get no fresh air or because I spend too much time staring at either the TV screen or the computer screen. But my head hurts and my stomach's being a bit weird. I think I might go for a walk a little later.
I really wish I was working now. At least then I wouldn't feel so pathetic. I'm really hating what I'm turning into, its what I've always despised. I think I need some "me time." Yes...I'll drive for a few hours, find a hotel to stay at for a night and rediscover myself. Yeah, who am I kidding? Just wish things were different.
current mood:  cranky
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| Friday, July 16th, 2004
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9:02 pm
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Since I fainted at work this morning, I've been stuck in my house. Its driving me crazy, I hate sitting at home all day, but I guess its better than losing my vision and falling...again.
But when I get stuck at home, with nothing to do, I end up thinking. I was browsing through journals and just noticing how different everything is from what it was two summers ago. I look completely different, I have different tastes, I hang out with different people, and some of my opinions have changed. Sometimes I want to go back to two summers ago and hang out with those people again like I did, but I recognize that I'm so different it really wouldn't work. When I'm hanging with them now it feels like I'm on the outside because they grew together as a group, and I grew in a different direction. I think I need college.
I was going to keep writing, but my head is starting to hurt, and I'm terrified of fainting again, so I am out.
current mood:  nauseated
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| Wednesday, July 14th, 2004
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3:48 pm
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Here Brendan, am I updating enough for you? : - P
Orientation was Monday through Tuesday, left a little early and got home around 2:30pm. Parts of it were really hard to get through, mostly the lectures. Was a little nervous during food breaks, but food different people to sit with and converse with. Met a few cool people, and met some more that were nice but a little boring, and a little too different from me for us to really click. My OLs were awesome, especially Ryan, made me feel really comfortable and all that stuff. My roomie for the day was cool, went to sleep early, we got along pretty well. I couldn't wait to go home, except during the gameshow which was a blast. Since I've been home though I want nothing more than to go back, so I think they must have had some sublimenal messages during the lectures and commercials. I'm also madly in love with my UMD sweatshirt, been wearing it since I bought it. I don't know, I guess I'm excited about college in a sense, but terrified at the same time. I wish I knew who my roommate was.
Other than college I'm just confused. Confused on everything that is going on, how I'm acting, how other people are acting. Wish I could work everything out, I guess we'll see.
current mood:  groggy
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